hairtech

happy birthday kelson

2009-12-13T00:06:18Z

3 days ago i was putting my youngest boy to bed and said to him your 9th bday is 3 days away how did you get so big just yesterday it seems i was feeding you a bottle and changing your diapers how did you get so big he looks at me w/ a straight face and said you blinked mom i laughed and kissed him goodnight my boy has become a smart ass like his dad grue

finding out

2009-04-06T18:14:52Z

have you ever wished you where a fly on the wall. well it aint a good thing i found a few things out and now i am upset and dont know what to do. i am glad i know but i wish i didnt as well some times its a bitch to be the fly.

I am going to try

2008-05-20T16:19:29Z

Ok I am going to try 2 things I may need a little help. First thing I need to do is work on the way I see myself.People tell me I look good I don't fell that I do any help from anyone would be great. Two I have a half pack of smokes left and I went out and got nicotine gum so I am going to try to stop smoking.I don't know if I can do it but I am hopeing I don't feel this time.

bad days

2007-04-13T00:28:33Z

well the last few weeks have been hard on me i am going through another bad depresive cycel at the moment i hate everything about me and my life i dont like feeling like this i feel used its like everyone want so much all i hear is i want i need do this do that i fell in the shower this past weekend and hurt my knee i aint sleeping good and just cant seem to care about anything at the moment life sucks

back from my get away

2007-02-28T22:42:47Z

grue and i went away it was great the travel was shity but the trip and people was the best.it was good to see happy and pixel again and to meet monkey cant wait to go again but next time it WILL NOT BE IN WINTER. the mall of america was very very big but i enjoyed it and drinking w/ monkey was a real treat all in all i had a wonderful time
and pixel gave me a beautyful pendent that i love ty dear
hugs to all

happy turkey day

2006-11-23T16:27:25Z

this it wishing every one a very happy thanksgiving may your day be a wonderful day filled w/ love and great food i am cooking for grues family and so i must finsh cooking just want to say have a wonderful day to all

hugs to all HT

good weekend

2006-11-06T18:57:46Z

we had a busy weekend grue was home friday yay.i worked sat and we spent the rest of sat w/ the kids. on sunday grue and i went out of town to vist friends we had a great time and i hope we helped them. was out late and didnt get much sleep i hope we can do this more offten w/ theses friends thay are awsome people.
next time that may come to our house if so then dinner will be arelios pizza we take all are friends there its the best pizza .so till next time

hugs and buttgrabs to all

ps grue i love you more then ever and want to say thank you your wonderful. i see now what i have been like and what you have done for me i can never thank you enough for staying w/ me and getting me throught all the bad stuff helping me to see that i am very pretty and that i look good .i allso want to thank the others that have helped me to see myself the way yall see me you know who you are thank you VERY VERY MUCH yall are the best

all my love to me dear sweet friends
thank you

the weekend

2006-10-31T01:34:28Z

well if you read grues lj then you know some of the weekend stuff
we got new phones yay we got a new bed it will be here tues.yay
he talked about a problem about a said friend let me tell you that said friend was his and didnt want to be my friend whitch is fine till it couses problem w/ the 2 of us he is sad yes i feel guilty yes but i wouldnt change him not talkeing to said friend after all that did happen
grue and i fixed what was bad so far w/ me being the wayt i am its a battle to keep things good i have issues w/ being left from my childhood and w/ him haveing to be away from me it brings back problems i didnt know till now so i am working on that as well hopefuly all will be much better sicents i know what the issues are
grue and i did have a great time sat we had our anv dinner at our favorit place and thing where just great the weekend went by to fast and grue had to go back to indy but he will be home sooni cant wait

happy happy

2006-10-23T14:43:30Z

i spent the weekend w/ grue we had some very long talks that help me in so many way . now we are better and thing look good it was the next step for me. i am seeing myself the way others do a bit more witch is a great thing couse i never liked myself .now i am starting to belive i am a good person that other people see me that way .i am PRETTY and for me thats awsome for me to think it. now to keep this line of thinking i just have to keep saying to myself you are pretty you are nice .people like you and think you are a good person .i may do things that are notright for others but i have to belive that what grue and i do are right for us .to all the people that has helped me get to where i am all i can do is say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart yall are the best . to have awsome friends like yall is truly a gift

all my love hugs and kisses

better

2006-10-21T15:47:25Z

well things are much improved from my last post. i am better and things have been fixed that needed to be so now i am working on trying to fix me a bit more i find i blow up about things that i realy shoulded blow up about we are working on that as well i have done a lot of looking at me and how i was and am now its scary to look back to see me as the person i was i realize now that i never liked myself then and i am trying hard to see me and like me and acept how i am and what i am know and not let my past and how i was affect how and what i have become life is weird but its work in progress ty for all the help i got from the people i called for help yall know who you are i love and thank you for talking to me and helping me hugs and kisses yall are wonderful hotel

just not good

2006-10-19T20:28:30Z

i didnt get to bed till late then i tossed and turned finaly slept till a very bad dream woke me had no one to comfert me then had a shit day found out i have been lied to and it was just a shit day i dont see it geting better anytime soon damn i hate days like this but i hate being lied to even more its the worst thing any one can do to me

all is good

2006-10-18T19:09:35Z

hello every one i got to go out last night w/ out the boys yay. i had a wonderful time didnt get much sleep but it was worth it. things are very good and i just hope thay stay like that. i will be going to indy again on the weekend to see grue w/ the kids. the only bad thing is we wont be together on are anv. on the 24 but we will get over that. so i am happy and thankyou to the one that did that for me you know who you are. hugs to all

me

2006-10-16T15:13:42Z

the kids and i went to see grue this weekend and had a good time its good to have him closer we can do this every weekend now yay. i am getting a few hours w/ out the kids on tue. whitch i need and will have a great time .anyway i have food to get and things to do . will post again soon. hugs to all

there was a chat room

2006-10-11T02:20:41Z

well there was a chat room we all went to that was full of great people. i enjoyed this greatly then one night all hell brock loss things went bad instead of people talking and trying to work it out people just left and now the chat is diff i miss the way it was so now i try to be a bit diff and try not to say things that others might not like i wonder if i could have done anything to keep all this from happening i dont know but some how feel i had a part in all of it and this saddens mei will have to wait and see how things work out i dont want to leave the chat room there are still people there that i like to chat w/ but some times i fell the strain and it hurts to think i might have help that along

doing good

2006-10-07T23:40:09Z

well i was talking to a client last night at work she asked how i was i told her i am doing ok after she left i thought about my answer its the one i all ways give no matter what but this time i relized that i realy meant it i am doing realy good i dont see my self as ugly and fat any more and gary and i are doing good at thre moment things seem to be going good and i am happy whitch scares me a bit couse i aint use to that allso gary comes home on the 22 of oct. and will be home till thay need him elswhere so home for longer then 2-4 days is a great thing i have lost 26 pounds sencethe end of may and plane to lose a few more so when i say i am ok i am i still have trouble beliveing it but yay for me i may not be ready to say that i am pretty but i can say i am not ugly it has taken me 30 years to get to this point but i got here any way its a good day and i am happy so on that i will say see yall later hugs till next time

momma

2006-09-11T15:33:01Z

to day is mommas birthday its the 8 birthday that she has been gone i love you momma i miss you as much now as when you left me it a hard day for all 5 years ago 9 11 was a horror w/ the twin towers and all it just makes the day worse for me gary is not w/ me as well witch is the first time that i am truly alone on this very sad day hapyy birthday momma w/ all my love i miss ya

pissed off

2006-08-30T19:12:16Z

owner of the shope i work in called me on tus. tells me there is no power at work and i would not be able to work on wen. then she calls me today and tells me the power might not go back on till late on thur. she will call me later to let me know i had to call all of my clients for wen. and now i might have to do the same tomorow i will loses a lot of money and i am very angrey how can you forget to pay ypour bill i just dont get it

not much

2006-08-24T17:59:36Z

well my first real post i am home after going to vist grue in ohio the drive there and back was very good w/ the kids being good at least so i am home and lonely i miss my grue and the walkes and talkes we have i dont have a lot of friends here so my days are mostly just work house work and the kids but i do go on irc and thats what has saved me now that grue is away

first entry

2006-08-19T01:47:38Z

hello my first time this is just to learn will post more after ilear how all this works